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Archive for January, 2010

Confirmation

I had a bit of a struggle yesterday, questioning the Lord if it was really necessary for me to dig up the past… I was given the name “Hezekiah” in my spirit and said, that’s not even a book in the Bible, is it? So I checked the minor prophets just to make sure, then went to glossary and found my confirmation in Isa 38: 9-19 (bold added by me for emphasis)This is the writing of Hezekiah king of Judah, when he had been sick and had recovered from his sickness:  

I said, “In the prime of my life I shall go to the gates of Sheol;
I am deprived of the remainder of my years.”

I said, “I shall not see YAH, The LORD in the land of the living;
I shall observe man no more among the inhabitants of the world.
My life span is gone, Taken from me like a shepherd’s tent;

I have cut off my life like a weaver.
He cuts me off from the
loom; From day until night You make an end of me.

I have considered until morning — Like a lion, So He breaks all my bones;

From day until night You make an end of me.

Like a crane or a swallow, so I chattered; I mourned like a dove;
My eyes fail from looking upward. O LORD, I am oppressed;

Undertake for me!
” What shall I say? He has both spoken to me, And He
Himself has done it.


I shall walk carefully all my years In the
bitterness of my soul.

O LORD, by these things men live; And in all these things is the life of my spirit;
So You will restore me and make me live.

Indeed it was for my own peace That I had great bitterness;
But You have lovingly delivered my soul from the pit of corruption,
For You have cast all my sins behind Your back.

For Sheol cannot thank You, Death cannot praise You;
Those who go down to the pit cannot hope for Your truth.
The living, the living man, he shall praise You, As I do this day;
The father shall make known Your truth to the children.

Revisiting the poem I wrote about a year ago:

Fill me with Your joy Lord

Increase in me Your peace!

Cast away the sorrow,

Taunting and the tease!


The enemy’s been defeated,

This I know full well-

My Savior’s Blood I pleaded

To shut the gates of hell!


To worry I’ve no reason

No matter what may come

My strength in every season

. . . Be Father, Spirit, Son!

Overcoming the Spirits of Rejection, Fear and Death

Hallelujah! The Precious Blood of Christ has the power to free each of us who have been purchased to become the children of God! I’d like to share the wonders and miracles it has brought for me (into my personal life and also into the lives of my loved ones).  God has provided me the way to a perfect freedom, and that process is recorded in this blog along the way!!! It testifies about the Holy Spirit’s renewing,
life-giving power! Hallelujah! (I’m currently taking part in a workshop called Blessings and Curses by Dereck Prince, which brought to surface lots of stuff and now I will disclose it once and for all and draw the blood of Christ over it, so that it’s forever sealed and I can continue enjoying full liberty and freedom!) I hope there’s someone who will be encouraged while reading about the struggles I have faced and overcome in my life- May my only boasting be about Jesus and His finished work at Calvary’s Cross! -Marjo 

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh,  that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be.  So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God. But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.  And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. Romans 8: 1-11

As time goes by and the generations shift, life’s journeys are being started and completed. Some of us may recognize common threads running through the generations. Perhaps there are repeating cycles, tendencies or weaknesses that we say “are handed down” from our grandparents etc.  Much of it we learn “mouth to ear”, by stories told to our parents by the grandparents, spanning through the generations, sometimes in written form. In the modern times also by internet and wireless means.  But the thread is there and continues, regardless if we take notice or not.

I would like to begin a long way back…  I’ve been blessed by having Godly mother and grandmother who married a strong God-fearing man. Their children have been truly blessed unto this very day. Though there were times of material lack and sickness, Lord has blessed them and their seed, for walking in obedience to His Word.  On my father’s side there were also God-fearing folks -though I have not retained as much info about their livelihoods and fates. But my father’s life wasn’t quite as rosy, after losing his mother when he was only 5 years of age.  His oldest sister then took over the mother’s duties and my father (being the rascal I imagine he may have been) wasn’t nurtured much by “the stern big sister”.  I have come to a conclusion that a spirit of rejection was in operation early on in my father’s life.

From early on, I had extreme fascination with death. This has a common hold on many people in the country of Finland.  One can find the death theme played over and over in different forms or art, poetry, paintings, songs. Nationally acclaimed painters, poets, writers have often picked death as a central theme. It is romanticized. In Finnish music industry, new death metal craze has developed deep roots (I suspect this may be a strong man or principality over the nation).  One may not find such tendencies surprising, considering that our country has survived in the shadow of it’s neighboring Russia for so long. Yet, I believe Finland’s survival and power to overcome the enemy under great oppression is due to them crying out to God (in unity and humility) as the prayers of saints had reached the Throne of God. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 1 Peter 5: 6-9

As I struggled with these spirits, fear, rejection, and death in my childhood I can now clearly discern the various ways they manifested in my life.  I would dream about someone’s pending death and it would happen shortly thereafter. I’d dream about skeletons, this was a recurring theme also. When I was 7 years old I saw in a very detailed vision the face of the devil. This scared me for months. The spirit of rejection was passed to us from both parents, actually. Not understanding the consequences of her actions, mom would speak to us children almost daily about her death-wish, as if in a preparatory way. She would be sure she could die any day now! We’d be left with dad. Then what? I grew up in an atmosphere of expectation of her death, spirits of fear and rejection growing ever deepening roots into mine and my and brothers inner beings. Yet God in His mercy sustained us. Mom’s cousin would drive us all to the prayer-house and we’d get spiritual nourishment and encouragement. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs — heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8: 14-18

Mom was told in a dream once, you better start taking the children to church, or only the youngest one will be saved. Once she challenged the devil and said to him; “me you cannot have!”.  The devil answered her; “Yes but you do have children.” The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him…  Even a child is known by his deeds, Whether what he does is pure and right. Proverbs 20: 7,11

My way of escape was taking off, hitch-hiking across the country any time I could do it.  This started around age 13 and was a grand adventure for me. I’d skip school, go hang out with homeless and hobos, spending hours on end observing their lives. This was strange behavior that paved way to my calling later in life. I remember asking God; “Lord just give me people to love, just make me an extension of your Mercy and Grace.” And He did!  Hallelujah, thank you Jesus for sustaining and protecting this fragile flower through those days!  Since then I have been into the enemy camp hundreds of times, coming out unscathed every time! From daily routines to the positions I’ve held in my job, to this day my journeys to enemy’s camp have always been shielded from onlookers and authority figures. I get such a kick out of that! God alone has the whole story! At times I find it exhilarating that certain Spirit-filled individuals get glimpses and words of knowledge about what Lord is doing in my life!  Yet, at least until now, it’s been a secret between me and my Daddy! However, I have to confess a great lacking in one area, I need to gain more boldness in witnessing to the broken ones about what Jesus has accomplished, and sharing the gift of salvation freely.  ” No one, when he has lit a lamp, covers it with a vessel or puts it under a bed, but sets it on a lampstand, that those who enter may see the light.  “For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light. “Therefore take heed how you hear. For whoever has, to him more will be given; and whoever does not have, even what he seems to have will be taken from him.” Luke 8: 16-18

There has been a shield of protection over me at all times, even when I fell into a cycle of substance abuse and risky behavior patterns. That sort of experimentation began in Finland, though I hid it well.
My mom never knew about it much, and that was for her own good! Once, at 16 I had a dream where U.S. President Ronald Reagan stepped off a fancy tour bus, handed me a bottle of red wine and invited me to come with him. The same night I dreamed of letting a caged bird fly out to freedom! It was an exhilarating dream. When I turned 17, an aunt asked my mom if I could accompany her on a trip to Florida. The rest is history! I came (invited by Reagan) fell in love (red wine) and got married! My husband, 20 years older than I provided me with love that I had never received from my natural father. John had just gone through a painful divorce @ age 36 and so we found a way of healing each other in this relationship.  It has lasted for 25 blessed years now, Glory to God!

As in any marriage, the challenges surfaced once the honeymoon was over. I still had my wild oats and secretive ways… Drinking and party life style put me at great risk at times. Once I was locked inside a vehicle with a murderer, he confessed what he’d done and then attempted to rape me.  I fought and screamed bloody murder until he basically started begging me to just get out! He was twice, maybe three times my size. Once I passed out on railroad tracks. An angel woke me up before a train did, thankfully. I aborted a baby after a shameful period early in our marriage relationship.  God forgave me by giving me a dream in which a cross was drawn in sand by Jesus on the ocean shore. In my dream I was searching for the baby I had lost. The cross represented His forgiveness, directly from my Dear Sweet Savior! How I bless You for your tender mercies!

During a trip to Finland (our first baby was 1 @ that time, we spent the summer visiting relatives) I made public repentance and asked for forgiveness and turned from my wicked ways.  What sweet time of fellowship I had with the believers in Helsinki, Lahti and other places. My dear cousin and his family were heaven-sent angels to me! Yet I fell back into the old nasty habits upon returning to FL. The devil almost got me that time.  Drunk as a skunk one night I decided to swim across the Intracoastal waterway to the mainland, at a pretty wide stretch of the bay.  I started to struggle against the waves about halfway over, and it took me several hours to reach place where the drawbridge station was.  I sure sobered up during the swim! In the morning hours, I was clinging onto the concrete pillars, not having enough strength to climb to the platform under the bridge, where the stairs lead to top the bridge.  I was begging God for help, terrified that the devil would finally finish me off. It was a struggle between forces of darkness and light, but light won that day! Hallelujah! Somehow I was able to climb up the pillar that was covered with sharp barnacles, they sliced my forearms in dozen slits. There I was, bleeding and pleading God! I walked over to the steel door that was between me and the stairs.  The large handle wouldn’t budge.  It was locked. I sat down, thinking, will I have to get back in the water and swim the rest of the way? Having no strength to do such thing, I tried turning the handle again with all the strength I could muster, several times. Definitely locked! I sat down again, crying out to God, making promises to straighten out the mess I had made of my life, pleading for mercy! Standing up, I put my hand on the latch one more time. It opened like butter!

For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. (Romans 8: 13)

After this incident I received strength to fight against bad habits that were trying to destroy my life. Having overcome some, I wrote a short testimony in Finnish, titled “from darkness to light”.  My Canadian uncle read and translated my story at a prayer house youth gathering (he told me it had touched many hearts). It was also published in Finnish religious magazine.

Pardoned by God and strengthened day by day, our lives improved slowly but surely.  But something was still missing, the bondages were still there and the oppression continued. I was still fascinated by darkness and obtained much information through different means and ungodly practices.  Naturally, there were consequences that had to follow such rebellious ways. Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, In the day of trial in the wilderness, Where your fathers tested Me, tried Me, And saw My works forty years. Therefore I was angry with that generation, And said, ‘They always go astray in their heart, And they have not known My ways.’  So I swore in My wrath, ‘They shall not enter My rest.’ ” Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God;  but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end,  while it is said: “Today, if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.” Heb: 3: 8-15

Before our youngest daughter Anna turned two, I lost a child in the mid-term of pregnancy. The birth of Anna turned out complicated, she came out with such a force, in our living room, and afterward I experienced severe hemorrhaging. Lord had provided us with a Christian midwife who prayed with us before the birth  process began and through the ordeal afterward- She removed grapefruit sized blood clots from my womb by her bare hands). That was very painful as one can imagine… With enough medication to stop a horse from bleeding (as the midwife put it) and by the Grace of God, two days later my hemoglobin levels were already back to normal! It was due to Jesus and His shed blood! I knew He was there standing next to me during the complications and this proved it! (My husband was awfully worried over my life, though).

For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.  Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8: 20-27

Still, I often felt that there was some kind of a blood curse on me, as I’ve also had very painful menstrual cycles (up to a point of feeling labor-like cramps shooting down my thighs on the heavy flow days).  And when I started bleeding during the next pregnancy I got a bad feeling.  Yet my friend reassured me, it was no big deal, as she experienced bleeding in her pregnancies as well. So I continued hoping for awhile.  Finally, we went to an ultrasound during which the technician was wiping her eyes, saying her contacts were bothering her.  That’s when I knew for sure.  Beforehand, in the waiting area I had already mentioned to my husband; “let’s try and concentrate on the living rather than”… So, after a rather clinical discussion with the doctor about how the procedure would go, we went to a hospital to birth our dead baby boy.  I was 100% numb, no emotion when she broke the news (the doctor looked at me with curiosity). At the hospital, we went through inducing labor and labor pains. At one point, an insurance agent came to our room, giving us her very best pitch for insuring the baby I was having, refusing to take no for an answer. Finally I said in a very blunt manner: “Lady, I’m giving birth to a dead baby!” She ran out with a horrified look on her face!  The birth was uncomplicated and we had picked a name Eric Christian for our baby boy. A Lutheran pastor came to my bed site to say “a post birth blessing to the stillborn” to comfort us parents.  He mentioned that it turned out we comforted him more than he us and was amazed at how calmly I handled the loss. The Lord healed me from this trauma. After I had withdrawn to myself for awhile, I went to Finland and processed my grief there, surrounded by woods.

Yet, for a long time I felt this was a direct consequence of my earlier abortion and accepted it as such.  A curse may have played a part in it, but any curse can be made null and void by the Blood of Christ! And any oppressive spirit, any curse handed down from generation to generation can be dealt with and removed by the Blood of the Lamb! We are over-comers by the Blood of Christ and the word of our testimony! And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.  Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.  Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.    Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?  As it is written: “For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come,  nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8: 28-38

Some time ago I shared here on my blog about the difficulties our son was having with school attendance etc. (this happened as a result of his being ill, then not being able to catch up with classwork).  He pretty much quit everything and turned anti-social, to a point of not leaving his room for days and weeks.  The spirit of fear had him in a mighty strong grip.  I was at wits end, having tried every possible way I could think of to help him, nothing seemed to improve his condition. At one point, during his worst episodes tried to strangle himself with a belt in the bathroom. I was on the other side of the door, praying and listening to the choking sounds, not sure if he was faking it or not. Having learned by now that nothing will take place without God willing/allowing it, I remained patient, waiting on the Lord. Then, at a Deliverance workshop I was prompted to release the whole burden to the Lord and boy did things start improving!  Our brilliant son has finished all his HS classes and is now taking college classes!  Glory to God!

Our daughter has recently been showing similar tendencies. A Principal Honor roll student, she’s always been on top of her class!  But within last year or so she has experienced much opposition. A broken bone in her foot, possible strep throat, and other flu type illnesses. All factors combined, she has also put on much weight, decreased her physical activity (becoming very passive), she has missed 30 days of school (as of this school year so far, yesterday a guidance counselor called to inform me of this).  Anna’s been exhibiting similar behavior patterns that our son did, which made me consider that a spiritual stronghold may be the root issue behind this one as well.

The other day, as she started pulling the usual “I couldn’t sleep, my legs hurt, I threw up last night etc.” (routine that has proven effective), I began rebuking and casting out the spirit of sloth, followed by the spirit of rejection (acknowledging any spoken/inherited causes, actions of myself or others, in full repentance and renouncing any ties that might have given the enemy permission to oppress her in this way). So this was a showdown and I took charge!  Her complains and whimpering changed to anger and she stormed to her room, coming back a minute later with a note taped on her chest stating “kill me!” Okay, it was time to cast out the spirit of death! I had no clue what this would turn into, but was able to calmly command chief demons with their underlings and attachments to leave my daughter in the mighty name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth and loose the spirit of adoption over my dear daughter, assuring her that she’s a favored daughter of the most high God!!! Anna said, you scare me mom, but soon she calmed down and went to school 45 min late. And in a calm, collected manner!

When I got home from work that evening she had baked me a strawberry cake and decorated it in colorful icing, saying:

# 1
Jesus fan!
Mom

🙂 YEA GOD!

January first!

Party Happy New Year 2010! Birthday cake

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