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Archive for August, 2008

August Post

Here are some of my journal writings from the last four to five weeks.  I started this new journal as a part of the seminary study “How to hear the voice of God” which I’m doing at the moment with several other believers at a local church. Some of my journal consists of confidential, work related stuff- that I’m leaving out. Some of it is a two-way communing with God, my Lord and Savior, which is the aim of the course. Fulfilling the desire to hear His voice more clearly, to seek Him and to find Him so that we are guided by His Spirit in every situation and circumstance we face…  We need Him every moment of our lives.  Trusting Him fully is one thing, but we also need to become sensitive to hear and obey His voice without interference. This is so important, as we ought to live Spirit-filled lives, casting off all our burdens at His Mercy Seat daily, in full submission,humility, repentance and renewing of our spirit. In life, is there anything sweeter than receiving His Grace and Mercy anew every day!?! Walking in the newness of life, freed from the works of self-righteousness, fear, strife, judgment and the law (which is replaced by Christ’s perfect law, LOVE). 

Dear Lord,

Thank You for bringing me to this place of transition! I know You’ve been birthing something new within my spirit.  Lord – I submit my whole heart with it’s thoughts and motives to be searched by Your Holy Spirit, trusting that You will bring me to a new level of revelation and spiritual growth.

Lord, I’m asking You to provide me with skills that will enable me to apply Holy Spirit’s guidance to my everyday life.  You know about the challenges I face daily at work, with my family…  Lord, I need much help balancing the priorities of my life, sometimes I feel “pressed on every side”. You have called me to be an intercessor for the oppressed and the downcast. I see so much injustice in this world!  My heart cries out as I watch people trapped in vicious cycles of abuse and neglect, victims and victimizers alike.  People are hurting but there’s little help or relief from the social ills of today’s society.  The world (with it’s systems and programs) is corrupt.

My dear and loving husband perceives my calling in a different light. I hope he acknowledges this way being a way of life” for me, like it’s been since my childhood.  Lord, I understand his concerns- I know I need to spend more time with him and our children.  But Lord, You are always #1, have been and always will be, and I don’t take lightly Your plan for my life.

I’ve wearied you with words again, Lord…  But oh, how it comforts me to receive Your answers and confirmations!!!  How I love to draw near You Lord!  Just this week I had three very specific questions to present to you. Discouraged and uncertain, I complained: “It’s no use Lord, I cannot see any answers or breakthroughs coming to these lives!”  You gave me a bible passage containing a message that read something like this; “Do not cease from caring for the poor and the oppressed.” (Of course I cannot find it now). But I had three questions, and You answered each of them.  The last one (concerning the injustices I have witnessed) was found in the book of Habakkuk.

The very next day, out of the blue, I felt such an urge to visit this church I hadn’t attended in the past several weeks.  There You confirmed Your word of Habakkuk, it was actually the very subject of the first lesson of the study!  And I happened to arrive on a make-up day for those who had missed the first lesson.  Considering this (and the fact that no-one could join after this point), I signed up to “learn how to hear Your voice”. All this could not possibly be a mere coincidence… Do you want me to do this course Lord?

A Husband and Wife- letter

Lord, I need time to reconnect with my dear husband. Please Lord, help unite our hearts and spirits -they are inclined to react and relate in such different ways emotionally, logically. We find it easier to ignore our needs and issues, rather than working on them.  What should we do? Lord, my heart gets so involved and burdened by the needs of others. I know I do not spend much time re-connecting with my husband. I’m so sorry…  Marjo

God:
Marjo, I want  y o u  to tell  h i m  that! Look what I’ve given you my dear children! Are these 23 years you’ve shared as one now becoming an excuse to treat one another with complacency and indifference? Regarding the emotional needs of your spouse, are you to grow closer or further apart? I desire to renew your love, so that it flows freely from heart to heart. You worry about tomorrows, your finances, your children and your jobs. Don’t worry! Concentrate on each other. Take a vacation. Enjoy being together.

(Later that month we did go away for a romantic weekend in Lake Wales, FL. We stayed at “Chalet Suzanne”, a cozy country inn, and visited the Bok Tower Gardens the following day).

A letter to my beloved

Lord Jesus, I could not imagine spending one single moment without you by my side! Just knowing that Your love and grace are carrying me through all the circumstances of life means everything to me Lord! I love you Jesus! You bless me by lifting the burdens off of my back – thank you for reminding me not to strive by my own strength- You are my strength! Thank you Lord Jesus for enlarging my heart’s capacity to extend your love and mercy to others, too…

Lord, I get so tired, some days I’m totally spent! You are the one who brings rest for the weary, refresh my spirit with Your Living Water! I’m thirsty! I cannot live without Your love! But sometimes I just can’t feel it Lord…
Marjo

From my beloved;

Behold, I am with you always! Marjo -my child, I love you unconditionally. When will you allow your heart to embrace this fact? You are my precious daughter. Nothing you do or don’t do can separate you from my everlasting love. Fear not, worry not! Come to me when you’re weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. I love you.

At Paleo Hammock

(Paleo- the earliest period of human inhabitance in FL, 12,000-8,000 BC- Paleo Indians)

Lord, this day is so very special! How did I end up in here?

THIS MOMENT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO MARJO BY THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY

TO BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD!

Thank You for this very spontaneous moment Lord!
Laying here, gazing at the sky- I feel as if the earth beneath me was
reaching out to you in an urgent expectation- reveal your glory Lord!

But who am I, that you should be mindful of me? Yet, come and see how your child hungers and longs for You! My Creator – my Savior – my Comforter, come to me!!! I cast down everything that would hinder me from connecting to You, Your very presence! Firmly, I grasp hold of Your revelation, to be released this very moment! I ponder with an awestruck heart:

“Lord, those who walked this land before us, did they behold the presence of Your Glory?” Seeking to hear from You, I reach out to You, together with them – realizing that they also knew You!

As He, who was; He, who is; and He, who is to come! The Alpha and the Omega – Somehow I sense a “timeless time” embracing this very moment, composing a divine – eternal! song of praise to glorify You, one true God, Father of all creation!

Behold, the Ancient of Days! God with us, maker of heaven and earth, sky and sea – the beginning and the end, from everlasting to everlasting- there is no-one like You Lord!

I will praise Your Holy Name forever!

Who knows how long have I laid here, opening up my heart, stirring up my spirit

-to receive what You would share with me this moment Lord.

All day long I have desired to draw nigh unto You!

Your praise has been on my lips continually throughout the day,

rising up from the deep places of my soul, secretly awaiting for the revealing of that,

which was hidden, yet known in the chambers of my heart…

What a sweet surprise to be found in here- Thank You Daddy! I love breathing in Your Spirit, Your gentle wind caressing my face… The nature all around me is joining in, forming a beautiful, harmonious song of fellowship, to worship You, the
Creator, in the midst of Your creation!  The birds are singing of Your Glory, the insects buzzing, the crickets chattering.

Joined by a distant choir of water fowls, their voices growing louder and louder as they soar over me, followed by the approaching rain and thunderous booms! —-

OH,LORD, I’M GONNA GET SOAKED!!!

“But that’s what you came here for, isn’t it?”  😉

(I did make it back to the car without getting too soaked in the natural- sat there shouting and singing my head off with the lightning bolts exploding all around-  it was so cool, the car was shaking! Whoo-hooo!

 


(These were written in my journal during the month of August)

Lord, once again You have demonstrated how You care for Your children… This week has been both trying and triumphant! After spending the weekend in solitude and seeking Your Spirit’s guidance (due to my work partner being fired) I have found comfort and acceptance in trusting wholly in You, no matter what the circumstances. Lord, I repent of trying to control this situation on my own and also of being selfish, as it was my dear brother in Christ who got fired. It now seems quite silly that I took it harder than he did.

How blessed it is to rely on Your grace alone Lord!  You directed my brother’s feet to a place of worship where they immediately recognized his standing in You Lord, provided him with hope and future assignments serving You and fellow believers. Lord, please see to it that his every personal need and the needs of his family are met!  Grant him Your blessings and reward his obedience. Lord You know what dry places he’s been trudging lately. Refresh his spirit with plenteous rain and dew from heaven!

On Monday, he told me how he had smelled the fragrance of the Holy Spirit at the church meeting. He shared this just moments before we received the final word from HR regarding his employment status. He won’t be working for the agency any longer. It’s funny, that we were laughing and carefree, as the office workers were walking past our office with puzzled looks on their faces.  We are more than conquerors in You Lord!

Wednesday was my last day at work, before my vacation started. I must have appeared somewhat unyielding toward my bosses and co-workers. I wasn’t about to lose my well earned vacation.  They seemed to understand.  Lord, please make things run smoothly while I’m away- take care of these dear people and families I will miss seeing during these next ten days. Thank You Jesus, for sustaining them and keeping the enemy from having an open opportunity to attack any one of these precious souls. Guide and protect my husband and sons who are staying at home while our other two go traveling with me. I trust in Your mercy Lord, keep us in all our ways. Thank You!

Back from GA

Thank You Lord, for the safe-keeping of my loved ones!  Everything is back to normal and I’ve been refreshed and nourished by Your Spirit!  Our mountain getaway turned out well.  Being on a low budget actually helped us appreciate Your provision and natural wonders all around us…

Thank You Lord for the beautiful sunny days, the cozy campfires and my midnight walks (and swim) under your starry skies- Thank You for all the opportunities to listen to Your voice in the midst of Your creation!

We were blessed from the moment we arrived- my favorite campsite was vacant, YES! Our lodging for the next eight nights totaled less than a hundred bucks (compare it to our one night at Chalet, which cost twice as much!) We had three separate paths leading from our campsite, one down to the stream, one to the lake and one to the woods where I set my hammock under a canopy of green, leafy trees. It was so serene and peaceful – my spot for seeking Your face!

We didn’t drive around too much, mainly to get some groceries and to call home (as there were no cell phone towers nearby). Our son chopped almost all our firewood from nearby gap (by Wolf’s Gap, elev. 3,200+). Our daughter picked a basketful of black- and blueberries, we fished, swam, cooked our food at the campsite. One could say, we were living off nature… One night I woke up calling on Jesus out loud and then heard something real heavy moving next to our tent. The following day I had several missed calls from my hubby, he had been worried sick and praying for me half the night. There are black bears in the area, I remember how they used to make such a racket trying to get to the metal garbage cans.

Praise You Lord Jesus, for our safe-keeping!!!

I had lots of quiet time to seek You Lord- and I sure seeked and seeked, hoping to receive some special revelation from You.  Studying “How to hear Your Voice” did reveal some new insights I hadn’t thought of before, thank you Lord for that!  I realized how the flow of events (opening up my spiritual senses) had progressed.  Mainly, how I had “missed the mark” by using Your precious gifts in certain wrong, selfish ways, and the consequences that followed these actions.  My spiritual sight was shut down for a season and I wandered in the wilderness until You called me out “to start fresh” (in part by starting this course).  I thank You for bringing me here Daddy! Increase my heart’s capacity to see and hear within my spirit all that Your Spirit is saying to me, for Your honor and glory, Lord!

I went to the study yesterday, found the church empty and closed, with signs posted, stating: “toxic poison”… Fumigating? I have no contact numbers- hope everyone is there next Wednesday so I don’t waste another trip.  Kids are going back to school this Monday, watch over them Lord! Thank You for taking care of our needs, I will continue to pray pray pray…

There are so many who need You at this hour.  Bless and protect each and every one of them Lord. Thank You for hearing our pleas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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