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Archive for September, 2007

Weeks 37-38

1 John 3: 17-24 

By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.  And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.  Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.  And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment. Now he who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and
He in him. And by this we know that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.

Wham! One simply can not
ignore such convicting message… This is what the Lord gave me today and I must say that I cannot read it without weeping inside.

Sigh… Embarrassed it’s time for self-examination once again…

Oftentimes I question: “Was that the voice of Your Spirit speaking to me, Lord?”  Or, did this thought arise from my own guilty conscience, because deep inside I knew I could do something in this situation…

There are times you know for sure and then there are times you doubt.  Yet, if your doubting causes you to “not take action” you’ll never find out the answer!  You just missed an opportunity. One of many…

God loves to confirm us as we obey.  Sometimes it’s almost silly how many confirmations dummies (such as I) require before believing that, yes, it was from you Lord.

I’ve noticed that, the more I allow Him to use me, more clearly I hear His voice… Practice makes perfect (although in ourselves we’re imperfect, in Him we are perfectly able).

1 John 5: 3-4 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.  For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world — our faith.

Anyways, last week was a bit rough for us all. At work, mixed messages, insufficient information from case managers, too much to do one day, not enough another… We had a “talkin’ to” from the boss the very morning brother L was to take his wife to the hospital. Sister S. has endured quite an ordeal,  being hospitalized and having her gallbladder removed. Praise God she’s now home and recovering.  Lord Jesus -in Your precious name and blood we claim healing for our dear sister, restore her fully Lord!

His stripes we’re healed!  Brother L‘s staying by her side and will be back to work this Monday.

Wednesday started negative (but wait, just leave it to Daddy to turn things around)…  Brother L and I were in our office (praying over a certain physical issue I’m dealing with) as our supervisor walked in, saying that the boss wants to see us. We were scorned a bit, then brother L left to take care of his dear wife and I continued with the day’s assignments.  I felt somewhat discouraged and in pain, but it soon went away (L. had been praying some more and it worked!).

Driving around, I decided to take a lunch break and picked up (drive-thru) a good sized lunch special, 1/4 chicken with lots of rice and beans.  Pulling out to traffic, I spotted a park with a picnic shelter that is a popular hangout for the homeless. There were quite a few people there.

(Now this is all about what my entry started on). A quick exchange of thoughts went through my head as I drove alongside the park- I thought,  Lord, are you asking me to go eat my lunch over there- in front of homeless people who’ll be watching me eat, themselves hungry, Lord- (well, maybe you’ll get them some, too)…  Okay, I’ll go, we’ll see…  Got to the turning lane, pulled to the parking lot with mixed emotions…  The picnic shelter was a good walk from the parking lot. “What if all the tables are taken?”  Don’t matter-  just do it!  So I went and ate and talked with the people, we had good and interesting conversations. It came up, that our city hasn’t much to offer to homeless, no shelters etc.

Someone came and dug a bottle from the garbage can, others were minding their business… Someone else came over, receiving a special greeting. Everybody knew everybody there, except I. Brother L. called, giving me an update of sister S’s condition.  People seemed now increasingly curious, so we talked some more and I asked if they had eaten- na-a.  I then “motioned” Gary over (the guy with a bicycle) -would you meet me at the parking lot, I’m going to get you guys some lunch- sure!  So I went back to drive-thru and got a bunch of those chicken specials, with 10 ice waters and place sets and brought them over to Gary, who delivered it to picnic area on his bike. Driving by Auto I honked my horn and waved- receiving a very enthusiastic response! Open-mouthed Yea, that was just great!

The day ended in a victory!  The week should too, I expect to get a good report from brother L (regarding his dear wife) this evening as I will hopefully see him in Upper room… I saw him the other day, stopping by after sister S. had returned from hospital. We discussed the need for a soup kitchen etc. in our city, among other topics. I got much more to write, but I’ll add it later.


Weeks 33-36

I haven’t had too much extra time on my hands lately. This entry will most likely turn out to be another condensed version of what’s been happenin’ in my world during the last few weeks. 

All thanks and praise to God, things have worked out nicely!  The children have adjusted well to their new school routines, teachers and studying.  I’m pleased to see some changes (for the better) taking place within our family unit!  After discussing it with our kids, we took back the big screen tv and replaced it with a piano. Our oldest son used to take lessons when he was younger, and is now  getting back to playing the piano. He’s a natural, already learning new songs to play. I love to hear such happy sounds!!!Smile

I like my new job, now that I’ve had time to better adjust to it. Brother L. (my work partner) is back from vacation and we’re sharing the load.  I very much enjoy meeting such interesting people, coming from various situations and walks of life. Being a bit naive (just my usual self), I hope that being kind and supportive toward those who haven’t received much compassion in the past, might actually make a difference in their lives. So many workers in that field harden their hearts after facing and witnessing the struggles of the oppressed…

Unfortunately, I see much injustice being done to people, even by the social agencies that are meant “to help” those who’re in need. I don’t see our present social structure/system in a very favorable light – even though I’m actively involved in it.

Some of the visits I end up supervising are with “somewhat troubled” individuals, but they usually go pretty well. The reason could be that I try not to judge them or look down on them because of their appearances or circumstances.  I may be prone to getting and accepting some of the case manager’s “dirty work” but I think I’d prefer it that way… I like challenges.

The Lord is intervening on my behalf in some of the assignments.

For example, I was assigned a long distance court transport with a 17-yr. old black male juvenile offender (most likely ending up in a jail sentence) for Tuesday. The case worker preferred a male transporter, but another transport/supervised visit in the same area with several children could only be done by me (having a van) so I agreed to do it. My partner was busy with another assignment.

Earlier, it had come up in a discussion that he’d been asked whether I’d be afraid of this type of assignment. He stated that he had not yet witnessed an instance or a situation (with the clients) where I’d express fear. We’ve worked together off-and-on since -04).

Another caseworker asked me a similar question. I did not know how to answer her… I wasn’t able to rest until I opened my bible and received an instant answer “perfect love casts out all fear.”

Well, What ended up happening, the kids’ visit was canceled and my partner’s assignment was canceled as well.  So he’ll do the court hearing after all! Thank You Lord -also for this one!!!

During our last meeting in Upper Room, brother L put some pressure on me to start ministering in a more bold manner when there’s a need amongst the sisters.  I’ve always been inclined to pray quietly and in private, so this felt like a hard demand to fill. Moreover, I was unprepared and tired after a long work-week.  So it didn’t go well.

I’ve been “fretting” this for a few days, crying out to the Lord because of my inability to “measure up” or “step up to the plate.” After all, I do spend a lot of time praying on other’s behalf. Do I really have to do something that I feel is not natural to me Lord?  I can’t stand it, feeling like I’m putting on an act, that makes me feel like a hypocrite!!!  So I went to the Word for answer. My Bible opened up to the following: 1 Tim 4: 2-16

Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.  Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine.  Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership.  Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all.  Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.

5:1-2 Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort [him] as a father, younger men as brothers,  older women as mothers, younger as sisters, with all purity.

What can I say…

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